


So I Can Have You Back

by PrincessMisery86



Series: Truth & Consequences. [5]
Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Language, talk of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 23:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMisery86/pseuds/PrincessMisery86
Summary: Summary: Quinn goes to the bunker to collect the rest of her things. Dean and Quinn finally talk.Warnings: angst, language, talk of cheating.Song & Artist: So I Can Have You Back - JoeWord Count: 2.1k (inc. lyrics)Notes: Part 5 of the Dean & Quinn saga. Catch up here. Six Weeks after “Harder to Breathe” & “Fade Into The Background.” I promise there is an end in sight for the Dean and Quinn Saga.Characters: Dean, OFC (Quinn), OMC (Wyatt - mentioned).Pairing: Dean x OFC (Mentioned), OFC x OMC (mentioned)





	So I Can Have You Back

**Author's Note:**

> Hey and welcome! So to make long story short, I have progressive hearing loss in my left ear (I have lost 80% of my hearing so far.) Docs say my right ear will also start to deteriorate, there’s no explanation for it and it’s irreversible. I’m not looking for sympathy, it is what it is. But it does mean I have been listening to a shit ton of music lately, every chance I get, which is sparking inspiration for fics. So I’ve set myself a challenge (thanks for the idea @negans-lucille-tblr and @firefly-in-darkness) to write a fic based on a song for every letter of the alphabet.  
Notes:  
I have a few ideas already but don’t have any set completion date, I will write and post as they come to me.  
Fics will more than likely be for Supernatural or Jensen/Jared but will make sure to label accordingly.  
There’s no specific music genre - I listen to everything, rock, pop, hip hop, r’n’b, rap, dance, metal, house, garage, I will listen to anything if I like it.  
Welcome to send me some ideas.  
It may be a whole song that I take inspiration from or just a certain line or lines. Lyrics will be in each post.  
Posting to Tumblr too - @PrincessMisery666

**Six Weeks after “Harder to Breathe” & “Fade Into The Background.”**

## So I Can Have You Back

The Dean-Cave had become a place of solitude for its namesake. He had spent a lot of time in there in between hunts and visits to the bar in town. If Sam didn’t need his help researching or there were no monsters for him to kill, he was sat in his favourite Lazy-boy eating a bowl of popcorn, watching a cheesy slasher movie on the flat screen.

That’s exactly how Quinn found him six weeks after beating the shit out of Baby. The door opening gained his attention and the popcorn overflowing in Dean’s hand froze an inch from his mouth seeing her haloed by the light in the hallway.

She stood still for so long he began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep and he was dreaming. He always dreamt of her, his heart praying for her every time he closed his eyes.

“Hey,” he said moving slowly to sit up straight worried his movement might scare her off. “You want to come in?”

“No, I’m not staying,” she said coldly, “I came to get the rest of my stuff. I can’t find my box with all the photos and everything, have you seen it?”

His gaze flickered to the old, frayed shoebox that sat on the table beside him. It had been there for weeks, he’d looked through every photo a million times. Quinn had insisted on taking photos over the years, to remember all the moments they shared with the people they loved; Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Kevin. Dean had always grumbled and complained about having to force a smile. As painful as it was to see people he had lost, including Quinn, he was thankful to have pictures of her smiling. A smile that only seemed to be in photos now, he had taken that from her, he wasn’t sure she’d ever get it back.

Quinn hurried to the table, secured the lid and tucked the box under her arm. She turned to leave but paused before taking a step, “can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

She slowly turned to face him again, looking down at him in the chair, “why?” His forest green eyes held hers, her heart ached to touch him. She wanted to reach out and put a hand on his cheek to take away the sorrowful crease of his brow. She wouldn’t allow herself to do that, he didn’t deserve her sympathy.

He shook his head averting his eyes to look at his lap, “I don’t know… I’ve asked myself the same thing a million times, and I don’t know.”

That was useful to her, wasn’t it? ‘I don’t know’, he threw everything away and he didn’t even know why. “Why did you tell me?” she questioned, “did Sam threaten to tell me if you didn’t?”

“No, no,” Dean answered quickly, “Sam didn’t know until after I told you.”

“So why did you confess? If you weren’t ever going to get caught why bother telling me? Did you want to break up and just didn’t have the balls to do it?”

Dean got to his feet, emotion rendering him unable to sit still, “no, I never wanted to break up! I couldn’t live with a lie, I had to tell you because I never kept anything from you. I’m sorry, Q. I made a mistake, I know that.”

A mistake, that was rich. A mistake was a fender bender, or forgetting to call her back, not screwing someone else! A humourless laugh bled from her lips, “Is that how you see this?” Astonished by his remark she asked, “you made a mistake?”

His brow creased with confusion, unsure of what she meant.

“It wasn’t a mistake Dean, you made a choice!” her voice rising involuntarily, the audacity of his confusion pissed her off. “You think you get bonus points because you didn’t lie about it? It makes it better because you confessed?”

He didn’t think that. She was right, he had made the decision to betray her and he didn’t know why. He couldn’t explain it, but the decision had been his and his alone. His regret was irrelevant. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I want to-”

Quinn’s phone ringing cut him off, she took it from her pocket and Dean saw the screen showed ‘Wyatt’ before she answered the call as she left, “Hey.” Dean could hear the smile in her voice echoing back. “I won’t make it back in time tonight. Sorry… breakfast sounds perfect. Okay, you too, bye.” She ended the call and put her phone in her pocket tipping her head to look up at the ceiling for a minute.

Dean stopped halfway over the threshold as if the door would protect him from the heartbreak of realising she was with someone else. He spoke before his brain registered the action and reminded him that he probably wouldn’t want to know the answer to his accusation, “are you seeing someone else?”

He made it sound like she was being unfaithful to him. She scoffed spinning to face him, her mouth set in a tight line, “I’m not seeing someone else,” she explained, “I’m seeing someone. One person.”

Someone that wasn’t him. What had he expected? She was going to stay single forever? Never move on, because he knew he couldn’t. He knew he wouldn’t be able to be with someone else, not the way he had been with her. Sure he could be physical with someone, and he had, twice since she had left, but he would never give them anything other than his body. Dean wanted to kill whoever this other guy was, the man who was going to be making her breakfast. Human or not, he wanted to murder him.

He was to blame for Quinn being with someone else. He knew that it didn’t stop the hurt or anger he felt, and it was always going to come out wrong, be directed at the wrong person. He hoped this new guy would break her heart, like he had, just so he could have another chance to right his wrong. He hated that the thought crossed his mind, she had been through enough, but it was true he couldn’t deny it, he wanted it, he wished for it.

“Speaking of,” she began cautiously, “please stop calling, stop texting,” she raised her voice seeing Dean inhale to begin protesting, “If you ever respected me you’ll do that for me.”

Dean had called constantly in the nine weeks they had been apart, he bombarded her with messages, to the point of running her battery down almost daily. She never acknowledged him.

“I’ll back off,” he agreed reluctantly, “but, don’t think that means I’m giving up on us.”

She’d be lying if she said it didn’t excite her a little to know Dean wasn’t done fighting for her. That’s what one does when they love someone, they fight. No matter how many times they got knocked down, they get back up again. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to hide the small smirk that wanted to break out.

Quinn’s eyes followed him as he cautiously approached her, she knew the swagger of his step all too well, he was going to try and charm his way back in. He surprised her by stopping when there was but an inch of space between them, usually he would‘ve reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist. His head tilted down to look her in the eye, “can I hug you?” he waited a beat, “Please?” he begged.

The desperation in his voice broke something inside of her and she was agreeing with a silent nod before she could stop herself. Dean didn’t waste a second, he pulled the box of mementos from under her arm, bending down slightly to drop it to the floor without taking his eyes from hers.

Standing up straight Dean snaked his arms around her waist, she ran her hands up his chest to interlock her arms behind his neck. He drew her into him, her body was rigid in a way it had never been before. “I hate this,” he sighed burying his head in her neck, “I hate not speaking to you. I hate that I have to ask to touch you. I miss you. I miss us.”

“I miss you too,” Quinn inhaled deeply holding back a flood of tears, “and Sam, and this place. That doesn’t change anything.”

He gripped her tighter, not ready to let go, “Q, I love you.” He hadn’t said it since she left. He didn’t feel he had the right to declare his love for her, it wasn’t fair of him to say something he hadn’t been able to show her. However, feeling her in his arms and inhaling her all too familiar scent, he couldn’t stop himself.

Quinn wriggled out of his embrace and bent down to pick up her box of memories, tears cascading down her cheeks. He took a step toward her, hands outstretched to embrace her again, “please don’t leave.”

She stepped back out of his reach, “I have to,” she sobbed, “I hate this too, all of it- I wish I could hurt you the way you hurt me, but I know that if I had the chance I wouldn’t do it. And I hate that more!” she panted, angrily wiping the tears from her face. The foundation of her relationship with Dean had lost its shape, it had fallen apart. Though her love remained the same and she loathed that she still loved him. It made her feel weak and pathetic that after he had been unfaithful, she still felt the same about him. Anger and hurt wouldn’t replace the years she had loved him, the passion and desire he made her feel. “I hate that I’m so weak when it comes to you. I’m tired of fighting myself over you, Dean. My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.”

“Which one are you going to listen to?”

Quinn looked at him vacantly, an internal debate, fighting against her desire to kiss him and the need to protect her pride. A tentative step brought her closer to him, the warmth of his body, the smell of his cologne and whiskey coated tongue flooded her senses.

Dean nervously licked his lips, his heart raced and his eyes closed in anticipation of tasting her again. He felt her breath mix with his and then her lips were pressed firmly into his. He wanted to touch her, like he had a million times before, let his body take over and draw her into him. But he wouldn’t, she needed to be the one in control.

The warmth of her kiss was replaced by the cold air of the bunker as she turned and left, he held his eyes shut for a long time after the sound of her footsteps faded.

[Originally posted by thejabberwock](https://tmblr.co/Zvu8vg2QyawLK)

* * *

##  **Part 6 - Empty Space - COMING SOON**

* * *

**Lyrics for Inspo**

**So I Can Have You Back - Joe**  
Can you hear me when I pray for you  
Never knew tears could make an ocean blue  
Fear of forever is a door that I don’t want closed, closed  
Pictures and pictures of the smile I remember  
This just can’t all be true

I hope he makes the biggest mistake  
The unforgivable that makes your heart break  
I hope you tell him “sorry is just not enough”  
And it goes from good to bad, so I can have you back

So many memories tells how long it’s been  
And I accept the blame as to why you’re with him  
He wouldn’t approve of us just being friends  
Please, that’s all I need  
Out of respect I’ll back away for a while  
Promise to keep me in mind

There is nobody like you  
(So I can have you back)  
Without you, I don’t know what to do  
The love you gave to to me  
I’m using it to breathe  
I know you think I’m wrong  
But it keeps me holding on, to you  
Keeps me holding on, to you


End file.
